"My Arrested Development" part 2

Sirens. Epileptic flashing lights, and the blinding bright of that perfectly trained spotlight.

"Uh-oh. This can't be good."



And no. It wasn't good. In fact, it was more like the antithesis of "good"....

I watch in my mirror as the officer steps out of the squad car. You know that girl from highschool that was such a bitch everyone hated her? She was a total prude and totally self-righteous? Though she was better than everyone and yet was bitter because no boys asked her to the school dance? Yeah, she became a Clyde Hill police officer in case you were wondering. You can save your money on private investigators and forget about those online classmate finders. (They don't really work anyway...)

"License, registration, and proof of insurance."
What? No "please"?? I am disinclined... but ok. I will acquiesce, but only THIS time. Next time I expect the magic word!
"Is your license valid?"
"I'm driving so I really hope so!"
"People drive on invalid licenses all the time..."
Sweet? I don't...
"I'll be right back"
"Please, take your time!"

As i'm sitting there growing ever more fidgety at the duration of time which my bestie has been in her car, I start thingking...

"Hmm... something is not right...."

Finally, I see my friend step out of the car once again... wearing gloves....

(Either i'm about to get murdered and she doesn't want to leave finger prints, or something new and foreign is about to happen...I don't like the sound of it either way...)

"I'm going to have you step out of the car Mr. Whitney"
"OOOKkkkkaaaaaayyyy..... What's going on?"
"Just step out of the car please"

So, i'm out of my car and the next thing I know, I'm spun around, hand cuffed.. TIGHTLY, and standing, legs spread....

"Anything in your pockets Mr. Whitney?"
"No. What the hell is this!?"
"You're being placed under arrest on a bench warrant from October 31, 2006, in Lower Kittitas County...."
Exsqueeze me!? Baking soda?? A warrant???? For MY arrest?!
"We're going to have you slide into the back seat of the squad car now. Watch your head and mind the tight fit in the back."
"Thanks?"

At this point i'm a little upset at the fact that i'm being arrested, am only on a couple hours of sleep, and have no idea what the HECK is going on! I don't think it helped my case with the officer that my attitude started to show all of these things....

"Anything in your truck that we should know about?"
"Yes. The nine-year-old under the driver's seat..."
I thought this was hilarious, officer compassionate disagreed...
"Oh yeah? And how'd that work out for ya?"
"Oh you know. Pretty well at first, but the femur was difficult with just a hack saw..." (Damn it Dane. Stop talking...)

(to be continued... yet again)